The Carey Family: March 2013

Spring Break: a time that many rejoice and look forward to. To my family, it is not our favorite time of year. Today marks 14 years since Dalton died. Hard to believe. I feel like each year gets harder, believe it or not. I guess mainly because the memories become more distant. I am so blessed that we were close in age and did a lot together during the 15 years we had with him. When I was 14 and he was 13 my parents sent us to Germany for the summer to stay with family friends, Hans and Heidi. How awesome is that? I mean, really, how many kids get to do something like that at such a young age? He certainly got to do a lot in his short 15 years. I kept a journal during that time and am so glad that I did. I have a great keepsake of stories that I would most certainly have forgotten had I not done that. I also made a scrapbook, which I went through tonight and enjoyed seeing pictures, emails, faxes and mementos from the trip. I forgot what a horrid speller he was, and it made me laugh seeing that. I vividly remember being on the plane on the way home and having him sign the journal with me, so it is neat that his signature is in there.
I think the years have gotten harder also as a result of becoming a parent. It changes how I view how my parents must feel. I haven't shared with hardly anyone, but in February of 2008 Adam and I found out we were expecting our first baby, due in October of 2008. A short time later, we lost the baby. It was devastating. I was at work when it happened. I called Adam in tears and we met at the house. I think that last time I cried like that was when Dalton died. We turned off the phones, tv, everything, and just leaned on one another. I think the next day we finally called our parents and told them what had happened (we hadn't even told them we were expecting). My parents were ironically on the way to the child loss group that they volunteer for. The reason I share this story is that it is the closest thing that I hope to ever know what it is like to loose a child. I know how excited we were for that baby, so I can't begin to imagine the pain my parents felt after being his parents for 15 years. It certainly gives you a different outlook when you become a parent. It's hard to explain, but even though he was my brother, I can't imagine what my parents feel.
My hope and prayer is that someday God will bless us with a John Dalton. (Adam's real name is John and he is the 4th so ours would be the 5th) and of course want to honor my brother. I don't know if that is in the cards for us, but I certainly would be happy if it was. On that note, I'd like to leave you with some photos of the fun times that we remember. Here are a few shots from Germany and England.

This was taken at Schloss Neuschwanstein in Bavaria