Scary Mommy

I have clearly have wayyyy too much time on my hands recently. I was introduced to a great blog about motherhood called, Scary Mommy. It's a hilarious and all too true take on parenting.
Last week I took a silly quiz on whether I should have another child or not. The answer was a firm NO, with this being the exact wording: "You should only have one child. You're simply not cut out for more."

I found that to be quite funny and accurate!

Today I took a quiz on there titled, "Is your kid an a$$hole?" Quite humorous, and I am proud to say that these are Sadie's results:
"Your child is most definitely not an asshole. Congratulations! (But watch out if you have another... he's sure to be a little prick.)"

Parenting is rewarding, but there is no denying- you will say goodbye to your former life of having a spotless house, going to fancy dinners anytime you want, taking trips to exotic places with all the disposable income you have, and anything else that you really enjoyed pre-parenthood. BUT, they aren't kidding when they tell you you don't know love until you have a kid. :)

Sadie's birth story

I seriously can't believe I am planning Sadie's 4th birthday party.....it all seems like yesterday. While I was pregnant with her I joined babycenter.com, which is a popular website for expectant moms. I found the story I posted on the October 2009 birth announcement board. I am glad I wrote it because it is cool to see my words from the week after her birth!

Here it is!

Baby's Name:Sadie Makaira
Date of Birth:September 29, 2009
Original Due Date:October 13, 2009
Weeks Pregnant:38 exactly
Weight:7.1
Height:20 1/2
Went to my normal appt on Tuesday and I knew that the doc was going to tell me I would be delivering that day since he'd almost induced me the previous Tuesday. So, husband came with me to the doc and we brought the bags and everything. Sure enough, blood pressure was sky high, he checked my cervix and I was not a bit dilated and the baby was still breech so he said we'd be doing a c-section that night. He sent us to the hospital and they put me on an iv with magnesium. It was awful!!!! At 5:30 we went in the operating room and at 5:57 she was born. In the recovery room I started shaking like crazy and they had to give me some Demerol and that helped. I had to stay on the magnesium for 48 hours which was awful. Friday I went home even though my blood pressure was still high, but they put me on some meds. Well, Saturday I checked it and it was through the roof, so wound up back in the hospital for a couple more days and finally came home again on Monday. My doctor said that this happens with the blood pressure to about one patient a year. I will be on meds most likely for about 6 weeks and then will be back to normal I am sure. The baby is so perfect in every way and we could not be happier.

It is crazy to look back. I had had a difficult pregnancy, being that I was sick for all nine months and as soon as I hit the 3rd trimester I had to be put on modified bedrest because my blood pressure got high. I never had pre-eclampsia, which is more common. I only had pregnancy induced hypertension. So, at about 31 weeks I was told I could no longer work, and I went to the doctor for vists and NST's (Non stress tests) twice a week. I also had to take my blood pressure at home. One thing I was allowed to do was go to the pool. This was great seeing as it was August (in Arizona!) when I was put off work. I couldn't swim laps or anything but I at least was allowed to go stretch in the pool. The upside was that I had a great tan! :) I don't think I realized at the time how scary it all was, which was probably good! When I went to the ER on that Saturday evening after having her, my blood pressure was 212/121. Scary! I will never ever forget that night for as long as I live. My mom had just gone back up to Payson (about a 2 hour drive from Phoenix) and I needed Adam to be with me as they were re-admitting me. We called my friend, Genea, and she came and stayed the night with Sadie. You know you have an amazing friend when you can leave your 5 day old baby with them. I mean, talk about friendship! I still have the paper where she wrote down feedings and changings while she stayed there. We were so lucky to have Sadie in such good hands! Genea is still to this day one of my closest friends. 
The days and weeks following her birth were very hard. I remember it well. I wanted so badly to exclusively breast feed and being on the magnesium for those 2 days after her birth made me so out of it that I did the unthinkable: I let them give her formula in the hospital. Not that I didn't feed her, but I was just so out of it that I just could not even stay awake. We got home and I mostly nursed, but in recovering from the c-section, being on pain meds and high doses of blood pressure meds made me often times let Adam get up with her in the night and just give her formula. We had my mom and then Adam's mom there helping us and regardless of that they are moms themselves and that they are family, I am a very private person and wanted privacy when feeding. Looking back, even though it's been almost 4 years I still have so much regret. I wish I would have tried so much harder and had the guts to say to my family, "as much as I love you and am glad you are here, I need privacy while I feed her." When anyone besides Adam would come around when I was feeding her I would stop because I didn't want anyone watching. I wound up breast feeding for 4 months until my supply finally dried up. I had been getting maybe 6 oz a day if I was lucky. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad she got what she got, but the guilt I have from not trying harder is still there. I have had so many friends that have said great encouraging things to me about feeding for the time I did, but I still can't get past the guilt. When I see these moms that had such an easy labor and had the easiest time feeding, I'm not going to lie, I am jealous. I wanted that so badly, but Sadie got used to the bottle and there really was no looking back once that happened. One of the pieces of advice I always give new mom friends is to not be afraid to ask for help and to not be afraid to tell people that you want privacy. At the end of the day, I have to remember I have a perfectly healthy and happy almost 4 year old, and that is the most important. If my story of regret helps one mom try harder or my advice helps one mom then that is good. Annnd if we ever have another, I know what to do differently the 2nd go round. Mom guilt will be part of life no matter what your circumstances. I am sure there are plenty of moms out there that had no trouble exclusively breast feeding that have guilt about something that I might not...just part of being a mom.
Now back to planning Sadie's 4th birthday party-a purple painting party. :)
 

Sadie and her dogs

Tonight Sadie started asking me to take her to this store. She has never, I mean never, asked me to take her to a store. She didn't know the name of it, but said there were lots of pretend cats and dogs there and she went with Grammy last week. She said it was the best store ever. I asked her where it was and she said it was near the juice store and near the mall, but not in the mall. I said, "Let me text Grammy and ask." In the meantime I asked her if we were to drive around and she saw the store would she recognize it and she said, "yes." So in the car we went. The only guess I had was that it could be this store called, A Boy and his Dog, that is a children's clothing shop/toy store. I had liked their facebook page but had not yet had a chance to make it in. When we pulled in the parking lot I asked her each store, "Is this is? Is this it?" To each one she responded, "no." We pulled up to A Boy and his Dog and I asked the same question. She got soooo excited and screamed, "YES, This is the store!!!!" It was about 5 minutes after 6 pm. Being that it is a local store, I had a feeling it might have just closed. Sure enough, we walked up and they had closed at 6. Sadie was heartbroken. She cried and cried and showed me things in the windows. The shop owner, Stacy, happened to be inside and saw us. She was kind enough to come to the door and let us in. She remembered Sadie from being in there on Friday. She shared with me how she let her play with all the animals and what a great time she had. I can't remember the last time I received such amazing customer service! Sadie is now the proud owner of 3 puppies that came with a bed, grooming kit, a bowl, a toy, and a book about caring for your dogs. She had some seriously cute things in there! It would be a great place for me to shop for photo props and baby gifts. I always like to support local business first, and I will definitely be back!
In other news, Sadie has agreed to clean out some of her toys since she got several new ones. :)

Here is a cell photo of Sadie with her new puppies (plus a Pink Pluto)

Thoughts on Facebook and parenting

Is it just me or is anyone else sick of reading the "I'm a better parent than you" type of posts on Facebook? I'm so tired of it. I have several "friends" that feel the need to bombard their friends with posts about their parenting style and such. I'm sick of reading about it. There is such an obvious tone to posts like that that scream, "my way is the right way and no one else's."

I think that every family is unique and I'm sick of the judgment. Who are we to judge the way another family parents their children??? Just because something is right for you, doesn't make it right for your neighbor. So to all those that post things like that-get over yourself. 

Every once in a while I do see something good on parenting on Facebook and this really spoke to me- (especially about breast feeding-I tried so hard with Sadie and only was able to for 4 months. Due to all the complications that I had after her birth I had a very hard time with my supply. I am also very private when it comes to feeding and would just stop when someone tried to look over my shoulder; I am sure that had something to do with my supply as well. I STILL to this day have guilt for not producing enough for her and I think a lot of it stems from people "bragging" for lack of a better term, on Facebook about feeding. I think there is a big misunderstanding out there that says that just because a mom doesn't breast feed, means that she doesn't want to. Nothing could be further from the truth-at least in my case.) Anyways, here is the post:

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom.

To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.

To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a home cooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend


(I would add, thanks to my friend Dianne for making me think of it: To the mom that had a natural childbirth-good for you-that could not have been easy. I admire your strength and courage. To the mom that had an epidural-that must have hurt like Hell-I don't blame you for asking for one. To the mom that had a c-section-wow, that must have been hard, but I am sure it was for good reason, whether it be your health, the baby's, or both. To all of you-glad you had a healthy baby from the outcome. One does not make you better than the other.)